CIT Blog

Love - Heidi Selexa

Love

Love has been on my mind a lot lately. Two years ago, or even one year ago, I didn’t have love. I knew what it was like to love someone and I knew what it was like to have someone love me, but I never knew what it was like to have an equal love. You know, a love where someone loves you as much as you love them. Besides our family, we don’t know mutual love and respect until we know it. We only know what we know until we know something else. I’m saying this, and I know some are not going to want to hear this, but I have a great relationship. FINALLY. I’m not bragging or acting like those two goofy, nerdy, geeky people you see who just fit together and can’t keep there hands off each other, but rather thankful for this relationship. Sometimes you just have to stop and be thankful for what you have. I love him and my talent manager. I’m thankful for both. It doesn’t mean you don’t have your days. WAIT, pause….

I’m writing this while I’m watching the TV show “Men in Trees” and REO Speedwagon’s “Keep on Loving You” is on. Remember when I used to have Kevin Cronin on my show all the time? Oh, the other jocks were just so jealous; anyway, back to LOVE. It doesn’t mean I don’t have my days or moments were I worry or get frustrated etc…It just means as a whole I want to go through life with this person. I want to clean his kitchen, sweep his floors, feed him and make him feel so appreciated - all the time. Surprise, I’m not just spunky, perky, giggly Heidi. I’m actually more about love. I love radio and XM, but never had love. Not even when I was engaged in DC at XM. It’s kind of funny; my ex-fiancée worked there. I loved XM so much I wanted to marry it or someone who worked there. I had fun, friends, success, and a paycheck; but never did I have LOVE. Love or radio what would you choose? Some days I would just sit on my bed and pray to god to bring me my man. So some guy at work came along and proposed. I thought it was a sign and said “YES.” I meant it at the time, but I certainly had plans on changing some of his ways. This one, I love just the way he is, and vice versa. It’s so wonderful. He was in front of my face the whole time through Terri Nunn, the beautiful singer of Berlin, who was on my XM show often. He works with her.

When I came back to California, I was very sad and depressed for a long time. After the mistreatment, and job loss, which was really a sign of my structure and safety and environment being upset, but also my brand new home that I just moved into. Talk about a nightmare. I mean really, Trauma to the 10th degree. I finally (after a year of Terri inviting me to her shows) decided to go. It was New Year’s Eve, I just met a guy on a film we were shooting, and he wanted to go. Then he cut his hand open surfing and ended up in the ER. I was going to stay home alone in my PJ’s and watch movies, but something kept nagging at me to go, and I just couldn’t rest. So I went, by myself. The minute I walked backstage to see Terri, there he was. We never left each other’s side all night. We even kissed all through Blondie’s show ringing into the New Year and to all the after parties, I think we finally stopped at 3 or 4 am. When Terri and everyone just had enough of our silliness. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. I prayed so hard on Christmas, “Please Jesus, bring me my man, the one meant for me.” On New Year’s Eve we met. Jesus answered my lifelong wish in six days.

Love. It’s hard to find; so when you find it recognize it. Because it may be another 10 years before you find it again.

You can have success, health, money, friends, things etc.. But without love, you may never be fulfilled. Not in the end. I’ve heard we all come here for love, real true love. We come to earth, born to our parents, just to find and experience true love. I do wonder why I couldn’t have it all at once, but maybe I had to leave one to get the other. Get rid of the old to make room for the new. I now also have room for TV & acting and no one to control me or to sabotage me. I guess the moral of the story is always appreciate what you have and if it leaves, let it go (after a good fight and justice is served, of course). If it comes back, it’s meant to be; and if not, leave room for the new. LOVE may be just around your corner or under your nose, and all you have to do to find it is get out of your big rig and PJ’s and go to a party alone.

Love,
Heidi Selexa
www.heidiselexa.com

giggle giggle tee hee hee

The Shows Need to Focus - Gary Bricken

The recently concluded Great American Truck Show in Dallas was a good example of our changing economy. Some of the vendors apparently canceled out at the last minute leaving openings for newcomers, and visitor traffic on Thursday and Friday seemed a bit light compared to prior years. What was really unusual was that by Saturday morning, the last day of the show, there were still plenty of give-a-way items like hats and pens still stacked on the tables. In past years some vendors ran out by the end of the first day the traffic was so heavy, but not this year. Many of the vendors I talked with said that they were disappointed with the turnout and not just because the traffic was lighter than expected. The traffic that was there simply wasn’t placing orders for their products. The vendors that were getting traffic were the recruiting staffs, with a lot of interest coming from drivers looking for more miles.

With the heavy truck manufacturing off by almost 30% this year it’s not much of surprise that the rest of the industry, all of which depends on new truck sales in one way or another, is seeing some difficult times now. Money is tight. But more importantly freight rates have not really kept up with inflation. Yeah, I know the government says there is no inflation, but the price keeps going up without it some how.

The next big question is; what will the turnout at the huge Mid America Show going to be like. This year’s attendance at Mid America was off by some 6% and sold vendor spaces down by 7% so the lower turnout at the Great American Truck Show was no real surprise to many. And second guessing the economy six months from now is just that: second guessing. But it’s clear that these shows are not attracting growing crowds and one of the reasons might be that they are not offering relevant information to the members of the trucking community who need that information, or more likely they are trying to be all things to all people and that never works well.

The trucking community today is a confederacy of extremely diverse interests. The one main common factor between these interests is the driver without whom there is no industry to talk about. But at these shows there is really very little to offer the driver. There are a lot of recruiters, but little opportunity to talk seriously with noisy crowds milling about, and even recruiters admit that they get few applicants at a show only leads. And the welcome wagon is certainly not out with food vendors charging outrageous prices like a simple hot dog, bag of chips and coke costing over $11.00. While big rig parking is free, if you come in the family sedan the parking will cost another $10.00. And for what exactly? A grab-bag of advertising literature, most of which will be tossed out by the next day, and few keys chains that will be added to the junk drawer in the kitchen? Most of the vendor offerings are really aimed at fleets and owner operators. And neither is in a position at the moment to be spending a lot of money.

But the shows do provide a place for publishing companies who are dependant on ads to meet with their vendors and make new contacts and place for new products or services to find an audience with nationwide suppliers. And there are vendors from the Expedite industry, construction trades, over-the-road outfits, regional haulers and heavy haul trades all in one place at one time. But maybe that’s too much. There is no focus on any one thing, but all things at once. These shows overwhelm the visitor who is not familiar with the broad spectrum of our industry, and somewhat slights the visitor who is looking for any given niche in the industry.

Maybe it's time to rethink the Big Truck Show Concept, that only uses trucks, especially show trucks and big name entertainers, to attract a crowd that’s not putting any money in anybody’s pocket in the end. The driver, the backbone of this industry is getting left out the mix way too much.

Maybe we ought to have shows primarily promoted by the trucking companies that could focus on the positive side of truck driving for a living with events aimed at both recruiting new drivers and opening opportunities for experienced drivers. Show trucks sure, be a great draw, a truck rodeo and ride along's too, and maybe even well hosted and entertaining but informative seminars about what individual companies have to offer the drivers and potential drivers. Shows need to focus on the main ingredient, the guys and gals who make the wheels go round and let the rest of the industry create it own shows aimed primarily at its own needs. We are trying to do much at one time here. And not doing any of it particularly well so far as the drivers are concerned.

Let me go over that one more time: without the drivers exactly what do you have for an industry in the first place? Focus on us, and the rest will follow.

So This Guy in Detroit - Gary Bricken

So this guy in Detroit misses a couple of house payments. Why should I really care? After all, my rig is pulling miles; loads are a little spotty but still good, go-juice is even getting cheaper. It’s his problem, not mine.

Wrong!

The only good part of this story is at the beginning. For starters, when that guy missed his house payment it bought us a little time. He spent the money on food and clothing, which helps keep the trucking industry going. The work truckers did in the past to haul in the materials to build his house is yesterday’s freight. It’s one shot stuff. But when he missed those payments the unpaid money becomes accrued interest that is stacking up on ledger sheets affecting all of us.

The housing lenders get their money from somewhat indirect sources. In the old days, the bank loaned you the money to by a house. Now, home loans are made in an individual manner, but quickly packaged in bundles and sold as lots to investors. The investors break up the packages into groups based on credit worthiness and resell the groups to other investors. The buyers include mutual funds, banks, investment companies and even large foreign financial institutions. When a home buyer misses a payment it reverberates back though the system in a number of ways, but the end result is that credit gets tighter. That’s where the truckers come in.

According to truck dealers I talked to, the credit crunch is affecting our industry big time. Now you need healthy down payments and will suffer interest rates from 8.5% to 12% depending on new or used vehicles, even if you have very good credit. And to make matters worse, many truckers, small fleets and even big outfits put off buying new equipment a few years ago while there was a scramble for new trucks to beat the emissions deadline and those rigs are just wearing out now. Many truck repair shops are loaded with overhauls and second level repairs to the point at which a driver may suffer three weeks of downtime verses a week two years ago.

According to many economic forecasters the solution to our problem, if they appear at all, is a least 2 years away. That means you have to nudge Ol’ Nelly along for awhile, or if you are a driver put off any hopes of a new ride soon.

There is only so much money in the world and governments that just print money to throw at the problem of bad banking practices won’t solve anything. Already the dollar is at all time lows against other international currencies, which makes buying imports more expensive for us. And a lot of our truck parts come from Canada, Mexico and even China these days. Rising import prices at a time when everything seems to be made in China anyway including some of our food, is further shrinking the value of the money we earn.

So when that guy in Detroit misses his house payment, look out. Somehow that money is going to come out your pocket in the end. It always does.

Pool Party - Heidi Selexa

I just spent the afternoon at a pool party with my neighbor and a bunch of Orange County moms and their kids. Have you seen the TV show The OC? Well, that’s what this is like. They are all members of the infamous OC mom cult called “Stroller Fit.” They are not all super pretty in the face, but their bodies are great. It’s part of their job as the wife and mother of a successful man. You have the luxury of spending his money as long as you look good. You don’t have to go to an office but looking perfect is work. Taking care of the kids is work. So it is equal. There is lots of talk about babies, their latest low-fat recipes, plastic surgery and bikinis. Did you know there is a new (well it’s not really new) kind of plastic surgery that is an injection that melts the fat away? It’s the opposite of the liposuction that you have to go under for. That seems so passé. The injections are good for problem areas. One of the truckers that put my name on his big rig called me when I was at XM and said he just had lipo on his stomach, and it was the best thing he did. The only thing is when you gain weight back it goes elsewhere; so the body doesn’t look proportioned correctly. So if you want lipo, get the injections. It just seems so logical. Excuse me, how did I go from bikini moms to lipo? Hmmmmmmmmm.

Anyway, back to the pool party. Everyone has the cutest bikinis on. I’m so excited that the 1970’s tie the bikini at your waist, and Bo Derek bead bikinis are back. They just look so pretty. There were a few implants there, so the kids where occupied. Why do kids always become mesmerized when implants are around? It’s so funny; they just stare. It’s a great way to get them to stop crying, because once they see them they completely forget everything prior to that. They get hypnotized. It really is a great way to stop the tears. I think they like booties too, because one lady had a poofy bootie and when she bent over it got their attention. Leave a little booty, a little booty’s nice.

Before the pool party, I went to my Holistic Chiropractor. There is a new diet pill called “Regenx”, not the one in GNC stores that you hear about called “Alli.” Regenx was test at the University of Minnesota and University of Connecticut. It is proven. So if you or your wife want to lose weight, Google it. It may not be in the generic stores, but maybe you can buy it on the internet. I’m sure you’ll be hearing about it more now. I believe in doing things all natural, so I told the bikini moms and they all want to try it. I’ll send pictures. Just kiddingJ

They have such a different lifestyle from an actress. They were very intrigued with what I’ve done in my life and my accomplishments. Sometimes I don’t like talking about it, because it’s just a lot of questions to answer - and it is so foreign. They ask how I memorize lines, who have I worked with, what’s it like, etc. I don’t blame them; I like to ask people about their lives too. I think being a mom is neat. They seemed to want to get me married and pregnant so I can hang out with them more. I’m not there yet. But, I will go to more pool parties. I love parties.

Well, until next time, bikini onJ

Heidi Selexa
www.heidiselexa.com

After The Reunion - Heidi Selexa

As promised, here’s my recap from the high school reunion.

It was great. Wow, everyone looked so good. Now, I know it’s only been so long and we are still young, but everyone tries to put this stipulation on how people are going to look. How shallow. What about if people are happy? Have they enjoyed life? Had life experiences? Seen the world? I have, especially being in radio. I have lived in seven different states, met many people, and enjoyed life. However, I am done with that life. I’m back with my family and friends in California and have only time to focus on acting. Radio seems like a past life. I just wondered if my school mates have seen life like I have. Have they seen life? I mean LIFE. Not as they live it, but as how everyone in their own way do the best they can picking their spouse, raise their kids, manage themselves in all different states and cities - not just Southern California. They have not. That’s ok. Only a few kids from my school had rocky lives where they came from (divorced parents and had to move out of state with the other parent). They kept in touch with us and came to the reunion even if they didn’t finish it out there. It was very interesting.

There are a few going through divorces. My heart really went out to Heather - the desperate housewife. She was so beautiful – the class president, prom queen, cheerleader. Now she’s screaming for love and needs a rebound - a boy toy. She’s a beautiful redhead, thin, in shape, with great big boobs, big eyes, and is smart, intelligent (straight A student), has two kids, but won’t need to pay for them - that’s what the cheating ex-husband is for, seeks great fun with a lot of love to give.

I could write a great personal ad for her. I love Heather, and feel bad for her; but she bought into the lie. You know, the lie about going to college and meeting the perfect guy to have the white picket fence, two kids, and a dog. And he cheated. She said not physically, but of the heart. Okay, same thing, and let her think what she needs too, to get through this. He definitely had sex with someone else. You can’t fool Heidi Selexa. NO WAY. I can smell wrong doing, of any kind. She’ll find the right man, and he will regret it. It’s not him. In time she will move on.

And then there is Tonya, the school partier. She just had a baby girl a year ago. Apparently she had really bad post-partum and stayed in bed for a long time after the baby. She was in bed, really depressed. That is somewhat normal though. My boyfriend said she was the oldest looking one there. She’s aged from all the partying. I thought she looked great. She always loved my mom, the Sex Ed teacher. She married her Jr. High boyfriend that she was off and on again with him (and his lesbian sister). I hope not anymore, for the baby’s sake.

There was another Tonya, the class slut. She also just had a baby girl a year ago, and is the best mom. She runs the house like the military. Schedules, time tables, food at this time, only organic. So kudos for her. She married one of her ex’s that my brother’s ex’s used to be in a relationship with. I know it’s confusing. This is what it is like in Newport Beach, California.

Me, well, I’ve always been the social butterfly. The one who was a little bit cheerleading, a little bit sports, a little bit theater, a little bit rock & roll. Everyone’s friend. That was and is still me. I don’t believe in placing judgment. We are all at different places in our lives. That’s funny; there is a TV show on in the background while I write this and they were talking about the Ramones. My boyfriend knows them. It’s a small world. Don’t place judgment. One day you’re a great worker, the next you’re a great dad. Things can change that fast.

So, whatever you want or dream of or want, don’t put stipulations on it; because you can have whatever you want. Even if high school sucked. Don’t use that as a placement factor. That’s means only a freckle on your ass, not the reality of things. We are all on different levels at different times; people change and so can you. My girlfriend, Kris, from high school called today to talk about how she was suppose to be the cheerleading captain in high school years ago, and I was floored. She has a gorgeous husband, and three kids and she wants to talk about how she was screwed out of captain of cheerleading. Please guys, don’t let that affect you. One cheerleading captain can be your next fat woman.

Be in the moment; be in front of you…..

Love you,

Heidi Selexa
www.heidiselexa.com

The High School Reunion - Heidi Selexa

Well, WOW….it’s High School Reunion time again. Why again? Why did I pick a high school that loved high school so much they have to not only have reunions every 5 years, but keep tabs on everyone in between the reunions. UGH. I am so dreading tomorrow night. They couldn’t even wait until the fall like other high school reunions. They were so excited they’re doing it in August. August, before the kids go back to school. Are there going to be a bunch of kids running around? Oh, I love kids, but not in every environment. There is a place for kids and a place for just adults. I’m sure they won’t be there. Is there going to be my old rivals of those B….y girls? Ironically, I wasn’t one of them. I was such a snob in the 7th and 8th grade. So many girls followed me and I realized they just wanted my approval, they wanted me to like them. It was that time in my life I made a promise to myself to never take someone for granted just because they wanted me to like them. I would never want to make someone feel less than me, or bad about themselves. I changed in the 8th grade, and that was the end of my snobby years.

Even in radio, as I excelled so fast, at a much faster pace than people who had been in the business for years, or with my success so fast at XM, I never took it or anyone for granted. I always remembered the pact I made with myself. There was an arch enemy at XM, those who listened might be able to pin-point who she is (I won’t tell, she’s not worth the space). She would try to copy everything I did on my show on her show; she would dress like me, do her hair like me (same color and style), talk to the people I talked too. OKAY, creepy, SWF. Thank goodness my bosses stepped in and told in front of the whole programming department to stop copying me, there was only one Heidi, and she’s doing a fine job, and don’t copy her valley girl character. She was embarrassed and livid. Actually, I think that did me more harm than good because she still was trying to wipe me out and be the new Heidi; she was just doing it more subtly. That was scary. XM was like high school. I’m glad I graduated. I will always love my time and memories there, but time to go.

Now I’m doing TV, which means no carbs or drinking at the high school reunion. I have a call back for a TV gig Monday, and I am up for a couple of other projects. I have to stay focused and keep in shape so I can keep working. At some point I will drink a little, but not anytime soon. I think TV is the only career where drinking is prohibited if you want to work. So I turned to meditation☺ I hope I’m not nervous tomorrow for my re-union. I got nervous tonight when I was washing my car. I always clean. I called my date and he calmed me down. He told me I’d be the belle of the ball. It’s funny; I don’t even care about that. Most people do, but I don’t. I’m secure enough with myself. Whatever. I am who I am. I just want to have fun without having to answer too many questions. I’m more interested in other people’s lives. Oh, I sound nosey. Actually, I just find people interesting. I love to listen to their stories and ask questions about themselves. I’m a great interviewer and listener. I only like to talk about myself when I’m frustrated or drinking. I won’t be doing that tomorrow☹. Oh well, maybe in another 5 years. Oh, you may be seeing me on a special 80’s show soon☺ . I’m talking about myself, and I’m not even drinking.

I can’t wait to tell you all about the reunion. I promise I will tell you all about who is doing well that you wouldn’t think, who is skinny and pretty now, and who is chubby. Hey, we even have a transsexual, Davida, who came to the 10 year reunion, and as part of his psychological evaluation for the surgery he had to announce it. That way the doctors could see that he would regret it. I’ll tell you everything. I didn’t do theater in high school, because the people bugged me. Singing, dancing doing cartwheels in the hall, it just was embarrassing. I said to myself “no thanks, I’m a real actress; I’ll wait till I graduate.” See, I love acting, but they were so goofy it scared even me away from the theater.

Okay, enough about the high school reunion. But, I promise I will send photos in my super pretty black Marilyn Monroe dress☺ Oh la la, and leave a little booty, a little booty’s nice….giggle giggle tee hee hee.

Last week, the column was dedicated to Grace, the lady from Maryland whose biological dad was a trucker. She listened to me on XM and saw my connection to the soldiers (not just as the pin-up girl, but as a member of society who really cares). She is writing a book to them and doing a scrapbook with photos of people who have done something to show the soldiers that they are in their thoughts and prayers. When she is finished I will show you. I have to pick photos for her to print. Bless you if you have someone you know and love over there. My neighbor in my DC condo building got sent and I remember the devastation his wife felt. My heart goes out to you. My older brother almost went to Desert Storm. I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown. He had a tiny irregular heartbeat, so they would let him go. Please give them love from all of us and come home.

Well, the nerves are coming on for the BIG reunion tomorrow. I have to try and go to sleep. I hope the nerves and anticipation don’t keep me up all night. I will send photos. Next week’s column will be just one big gossip fest. Just kidding, no actually it might be.

So, until next week when the saga continues. I promise to forgive the mean people. But not Tonya. Okay, I’ll try☹

Much Love,

Giggle Giggle Tee Hee Hee,

Heidi Selexa
www.heidiselexa.com

On Daddy and Trust - Heidi Selexa

On Daddy and Trust

My father and his company designed the no-chip coating that covers the metal of your freightliner under the paint so it doesn’t corrode. When I was a little girl, I used to ask “Daddy, what do you do when your not home?” And he said, “well, you know those big trucks that go by, I make the coating that goes over the metal so it doesn’t rust out.
“I didn’t really understand when I was three, but I would call them the big furry truckers and he and his friends would say yes and laugh at my silliness. So when I got to XM because the truckers were the 1st listeners and fans of XM and SIRIUS I just yelled it out. And they loved it. I hadn’t remembered in years about my daddy and daughter time, as what he did until then. He was so proud I found the truckers or they found me on XM. I love my daddy. How weird is that? God works in mysterious ways. In school, I excelled in English, writing and chemistry. But, I had no passion for chemistry. Not then. Daddy taught me all of life was about chemistry and timing. “Patience child,” he would say, “you must learn patience.” I GET IT. Its chemistry and timing. I get it now. It’s like when you’re a little kid and your driving to grandma’s…you keep asking, “are we there yet, are we there YET?” Relax; you’ll get there when you get there. Just like a driver or a trucker…just driving mile after mile hoping to get there ASAP. Patience and you’ll get there. Don’t let the roadblocks get in your way.

This is from a fan…. I just got this and it brought tears to my eyes. I had no idea my radio show and presence had such an impact on all professions and people. Here it is…

Dear Heidi,

I only knew of you related to XM radio and I believe something you wrote a while back but I clicked on your website and learned that was the tip of the ice berg! I'm changing careers and you are an inspiration.

Trucking talk first...

While I wrote about the photos ...humor and the truckers got me thinking ... my biological father was a trucker so I know about the trucking life from the family side. He used to bring me small plastic replicas of the van he drove; the toy trucks had the company logo on it.... before women's lib. My mom didn't think it was so cool....I did. It's one of the few gifts he ever gave me but it was more than the actual physical gift...it was a man trying to connect with his daughter and a man who didn't think girls had to have dolls. ..He flipped two rigs; one left dangling on a mountain-side with the contents spewing all down the mountain; he changed professions.

While trucking was only a small portion of his life...it did impact him and it impacted me. I remember some of his stories; every time a see a moving van I think of him and my trucks. I've written a couple of pieces related to trucking, one a serious prose piece and the other...just a little diddy about Volvo's and trucks... I hope you don't think it too presumptuous of me but I thought I would go ahead and share it with you....

VOLVO GIRL

I’M THE VOLVO GIRL
ONLY HAPPY IN MY CAR
ONLY HAPPY WHEN I DRIVE IT
DRIVE IT FAST
DRIVE IT HARD

ROCK AND ROLLIN’ IN MY CAR
SUN ROOF OPEN TO THE SKY
MUSIC FLOWING
PLAY IT LOUD,
PLAY IT LOUD.

STOP LIGHT HELL,
MR. MERCEDES SMILIN’ AT ME
COULDN’T DRIVE IT HARD
IF HE TRIED ALL NIGHT
GOT A CELL PHONE ON HIS EAR
IT'S ALL RIGHT
RATHER BE ALONE.

LOOKIN' IN THE MIRROR
PUTTIN ON LIPS
THROWIN’ CAUTION TO THE WIND
AND SHIFTIN’ INTO FIFTH
HEY, MR. TRUCK DRIVER-
LOOKIN’ UP MY SKIRT?
OH I LOVE THAT OPEN ROAD-FLIRT.

I’M ANYTHING I WANT TO BE-….
IN MY CAR,
ANTI TERROISTIC LIMO DRIVER
ROCK STAR
PAPER-BACK WRITER -
WITH VAN MAN MEMORIES.

DOESN’T MATTER WHAT I AM
I’M HAPPY WHEN I DRIVE MY CAR
DRIVE IT FAST,
DRIVE IT HARD.
I’M THE VOLVO GIRL
GONE BAD.

Copyright @ RGC July 31, 2007


Soldiers and war. I know the soldiers appreciated your presence as they left to go to a world you and me really only know from CNN. I am working on a book of poetry related to war...and have an outline for a book. I'm afraid my writing related to war is not so funny...

Thank you for your thoughtfulness in responding and offering to send the pictures. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

R G C
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WOW, what an inspiring letter. I inspired her; NO she inspired me. To keep believing that choosing to follow my heart of doing radio 1st before acting was the right thing. That no matter the pain I’ve experience in radio and XM, somehow, in the grand scene of things, in the big pictures, to God, My family and still not having a husband or children of my own leaving my D.C. condo two months after I renovated it, that XM should of told me before I bought the condo they were going to change plans and I wasn’t going to be able to experience the joys of my first home alone, that somehow, someway I made a difference. Maybe I would have been so comfortable with XM I would of never done acting (another love of mine) or the merger between the two? We don’t know, I don’t know.

We don’t always know why things happen the way they do, but at some point down the road there is a reason why, a turning point. I have my safety, life and a good man. Maybe if I stayed at XM I wouldn’t. We never know why. WHY?

Just know…It’s BETTER than ok. TRUST.

This letter is about reason, why, and TRUST.

Love,

Heidi Selexa (your beloved)

www.heidiselexa.com

Mexican Trucks: The Vanishing Act - Gary Bricken

Truckers have to admire the way the leadership of this country can take a simple problem and make it look like a 15 stopper in downtown Manhattan on Friday afternoon.

The issue of Mexican trucks coming into this country has been kicked around for over a dozen years now without any real progress. That’s not entirely true of course. Lobbyists, employees of public safety advocacy groups, lawyers for the ATA and OOIDA and hundreds of congressmen and their appointed hanger’s-on, have made a lot house and car payments off this proposed program without having to be actually being bothered by any Mexican trucks on the road! And truck writers have made a fortune babbling about this and that and what’s going to happen, that never does of course. Collectively the press has told the public everything but the truth about the Mexican truck issue.

For close to a hundred years Mexican cities like Nuevo Laredo, Nogales and Matamoros, along with their sister US cities of Laredo, Brownsville and Nogales, Arizona have provided a gateway between two countries but more importantly a gateway between two cultures. The natural order of things when different languages and cultures are involved is a general distrust of each other and trying to find a way to do business when neither side understands what the other guy is trying to achieve. What eventually happens is that a few clever and usually educated individuals take the time to learn about their opposite numbers and set up systems that ordinary people can put into action for the benefit of both parties.

Along our southern borders the solution evolved into a huge complex of warehouses and attendant services. Goods going in either direction had to be dropped off, inspected, sometimes repacked and reloaded for their journey into another country. It’s very labor intensive, requires an enormous amount of warehouse space and has built up the economies of these cities at an incredible pace. The investment runs into the billions along with the payrolls for both truck related industries and supporting industries of every kind.

Then along comes a group of fancy suits with a lot of money and the clever idea to bypass this whole system and run the trucks past the border saving time and money. But they don’t get it. Time and Money are lifeblood of millions of Americans and Mexicans living along the border. Why not suggest bypassing Wal Mart and allowing every American home to become a sort of AVON type operation without the need for huge stores, billion dollar shopping plazas and dispense with million of jobs at the same time. Need a lawnmower; hey go see Fred around the corner he has 50 to choose from and the guy next store handles pet supplies too.

It comes down to this; you can’t mess with the established livelihood of millions of people along the border, and the all important investors in those warehouse and related properties, including the truckstops, without getting a lot of backlash. And the enemies of this cross border trucking idea are both tireless and clever thank goodness. Almost 90 years ago the famous American General Pershing discovered when trying to chase Pancho Villa in Mexico that the Mexicans had a way of just disappearing in front of him. Time and history in Mexico has taught the Mexicans how to fight the Gringo by simply not giving him a target to shoot at. The same tactic is at play here and now and all the opponents of cross border trucking are using it to fight the ATA and a handful of coin operated politicians. There is no big issue here to be attacked. It’s a series of small issues ranging from truck safety, CDL training and licensing requirements, electronic bills of lading, monies for truck inspections and on and on. Its really a little war that being going on for 15 years now between the small interests of hundreds of thousands of people along the border and an well healed but very small group of shippers and industrialists. But like Pershing they can’t ever quiet find the enemy. One minute he’s there, the next minute he’s gone.

So will we ever have cross border trucking where trucks can run from Chicago to Mexico City without stopping for anything but fuel? Yes but not really. We will have controlled experiments that will be carefully controlled to fail, but look promising enough to call for more experiments. That should last for another 20 years or so.

Success in achieving cross border trucking threatens the livelihood not only the warehouse owners and workers in places like Laredo, but thousands of lobbyists, congressional staffers of all sorts, truck writers, publishers, convention facility owners, you name it. This is one of those wars that really is good for the economy, without anybody actually getting killed.

And besides once it’s over, what’ll we do?

The Elvira Auditions - Heide Selexa

“Hi Truckers”

Well, I’m here to tell you about Heidi Selexa “being the next Elvira” auditions. It was truly a great experience for me, but not for many of the other actresses. In my gut, I don’t feel like I got to the 3rd callbacks. That’s okay, it just simply means it wasn’t right for me. Sometimes, auditions are about showing someone what you are truly capable of and simply entertaining them. Elvira or Cassandra was truly mesmorized by me. She said, in her words “You are so adorable, that was by far the most enjoyable show, I really enjoy you, but I don’t know if you’re the right one to re-place me. I wanted you to do me.” I said “that was not the direction I was given, I specifically asked in detail after the 1st call-back, what do you want. Do you want me doing Elvira or do you want me doing me, as if I were The Next Elvira, but in the way Heidi Selexa would do it.” They said they wanted me to do it my way. Then my manager called and said, wear your sexy, classy black dress and do you. Maybe it’s time. So I did.

Elvira and her two drag queen Elvira’s on each of her arms, said, damn we really enjoy you, will you scream for me. So I did, and they said that was a great scream. Normally, this sounds like they were just being nice, but NO. NOT in auditions when they are tired and have seen hundreds of girls. They get to the point where they don’t care, are tired, hungry and have no patience for people who don’t perform at their best. So, frankly, I was flattered. She wanted more, squeezed her hands together and said she wanted me to do her, like a mirror, she really liked me. She told me the problem was, there was no direction for this part given.

The the cold, hard truth, and I better get used to it or I shouldn’t be an actress. Sometimes, your going to be given wrong direction. When there are so many producers, directors and other people involved, everyone wants or thinks you should do something different. I just was frank and said I can do you, but was told not too. If I don’t get called back to do her, that’s okay. I did my best with what I had. I also was chosen the night before when I was being Elvira on my bed, for another audition four hours prior, for a tv show to be a news reporter and memorize six pages by tomorrow, Friday at 3pm in traffic and drive in traffic and get Elvira’d out by 7pm that night. It was truly a hectic day and I just wanted one day to prepare as Elvira. I probably didn’t get neither role. But, it’s a learning experience. Too much pressure on me all in a 4 hour time frame, but also not to stress. Just go from one character to the next. And don’t worry about FRIDAY LA TRAFFIC. That’s what threw me off the most, but it’ll be the last time I worry about traffic. That’s was a lot to deal with 2 different characters, outfits, make-up and lines to memorize.

Girls came out crying saying, she didn’t even let them get past 2 lines. Elvira, cut them off and said “I’m not feeling it, thanks, but next.” At least I was not only encouraged to finished, but so more. I’m also studying hardcore with class A acting instructors who still coach class A actors. You learn real fast how to handle situations and focus on the character, and only the character. Nerves disappear and you deliver the goods. It’s such an amazing feeling.

Mind you everyday, I remember XM, but I wish I didn’t. I just know I have a much better situation in LA and way more opportunity for my talent. As long as I do my part. Study, work hard, keep in shape, mentally and physically and listen to my manager. The rest will fall in place. This is my new experience and I’m along for the ride. God’s ride. We’ll see if it’s God plan for me.

Next time we talk about my father making the no chip paint on your big-rigs. He designed the no chip paint.

Much Love,

Heidi Selexa
www.heidiselexa.com

To My Beloved Truckers - Heidi Selexa

I’ve missed you so much, so I am writing this Blog for the Big Rig Owner magazine website. You will find a new one each Monday, so check it out.

If you don’t know me, I was on XM satellite radio’s 80’s on 8 channel for four and 1/2 years. I developed a fan club for the truckers called “The Big Furry Trucker Fan Club”, but it eventually got changed to the BFT fan club, because so many non-truckers loved the idea and wanted to be members. So I just gave everybody a number. So many truckers put my name on their big-rig. I also got a plaque from the solders in Iraq as “The Official Pin-up Girl” for the truckers in Iraq. I appeared at all the truck shows with Bill and Cindy Mack, Truckin’ Bozo and Dave Nemo. The transition leaving XM was EXCRUCIAING PAINFUL. Not only did I have to leave my friends in the building, Country Dan, Coolguy and so many others, after 2 months of moving into to my brand new renovated condo ( my 1st home) I had to rent it out and move back to California. But, come on; who am I kidding? How many times did you hear on the air me saying at some point I’m going to go back to LA and do acting. Did I not send that out to the universe and God and will it. Probably. But, that is also the radio industry. They also had a problem with my big following, my success, and my offers to host music video shows and write the book “the Heidi Selexa story of the radio goddess, giggle if you want too.” They would make me go to Marketing, PR and Legal before I could do anything. I was being held back. The lid was put on me. The Cap.

Now, I have a very good talent manager for acting and voice-over. I write and am talking to someone about doing a radio show. One you will like. My focus is on acting and TV only. Everything revolves around that. For the first time in my life, I feel like I have my own power doing acting. I own myself and my talent. It’s empowering.

Enough about that. I have always wanted to share with the truckers how important it is too have at least a good basic insurance plan. Health. If you are not on the road and go ice fishing, camping, or have a car accident you need to make sure you and you family are covered. This is also important if someone in your family gets sick. I got Grave’s disease 10 years ago; thankfully I had two insurance plans. THANK GOD, or I would have had major medical bills. Since your independent contractors you need a good plan. Any State, any doctor. If you’re going to have children, get the policy before because nobody will insure you or you women that you impregnated until after the baby is born. There is only one way through www.maternitycard.com. Dental is www.deltadental.com. Other than that, ask me; I will get you to the right place for a good, affordable insurance plan for you and/or you and your family. Don’t be silly and think nothings ever going to happen to you and your family. A cut finger, broken leg, heart attack,etc…. Just get a basic policy. Preventative medicine is good also. Holistic health care. Chiropractor kinesiology. I love it. I love the Chinese way.

Anyway, I so miss talking to the truckers. Sometimes I get squeezed in between big rigs on the road, have a minute of a panic attack and then find away to get away from that situation and move on. Please don’t sandwich little cars between the two of you. Do you guys plan that in groups when you see a single women driving alone? You want to sandwich her? Hello. Let us know before you do that. We have panic attacks and car insurance to deal with. WOOOOO, did I just actually tell you truckers what’s going on in our heads? What do we have to flash you to get out of a sandwich? Giggle tee hee hee.

Anyway, I have to go read a script, go for my run and sweat in this So. Cal heat (it’s very hot hear in California) and study for my acting. I study with the most well respected acting coach in the country, Howard Fine. I don’t want to get behind in the class. You know me. Dedication +time = success.

I will write more later, oh and one last note.

P.S. Please carry healthy snacks in your big rigs. Just go to a Trader Joe’s and get the healthy celery peanut butter, carrot, egg, salad, tofu salad snacks. They are so good. Or go to a grocery store and get the fruit and veggie pre-packaged party snacks and leave it on your passenger seat to pick all day. No fast food. Tofu dogs are great. Did you see Fast Food Nation? See it, you will become a vegetarian.

Love,
Heidi Selexa
www.heidiselexa.com